How to Overcome Your Critics and Reach Your Full Potential

A couple months ago I received a little parting gift from one of our clients who had been with us for many weeks. She gave me a pink mug that had the following words on it: “Girlfriend’s Rule: When one gets dessert, we ALL get dessert!” I have since spent some time thinking about this. Being a girl myself, I know all too well how true that saying really is. Whenever I have politely refused dessert while my friends are all eating it, I almost always get attacked by the other girls, as if I have done something terribly wrong. The same is often true in other aspects of life. Whether they realize it or not, people often try to hold us back. The truth is that misery loves company. When I choose not to eat something unhealthy when everyone else is, or when I choose to go exercise when no one else wants to, it makes others accountable for their own actions. If they are not living the way they want to, this can make them feel guilty which is why they then try to get me to also eat the (fill in the blank calorie-laden food) or try to get me not to exercise.

The key to success is not letting others hold you down. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. You can be a good example of healthy living to your friends and family. Your friends may show some resentment at first, but hopefully they will soon let down their guard and join you. When you have the support of others, it significantly helps you stick to your goals. However, even if your friends and family don’t support you, be firm and confident in your goals and don’t let anyone deter you from achieving that which you want to achieve.

More often than not, it is not others that hold us back from accomplishing our goals. It is our self. We are often our own worst enemy, our hardest critic. Maybe we are never happy with what we accomplish and think that it is never enough; or we constantly criticize ourselves in everything that we do. Whatever the form of self-criticism may be, it only hurts our progression. The key to overcoming our own negativity is to replace the negative with positive. If you find yourself criticizing yourself in your head (or out loud), immediately stop and find something positive to replace it with. Even if you don’t believe it at the time, say it anyway. I call this “faking it till you make it”. It has been proven that when you smile, or when you compliment yourself, it can’t help but raise your mood a little. Repeat the positive saying over and over again. It gets you out of the rut of self criticism and loathing.

Lastly, fill your life with positivity—It will help push out the negative thoughts. Make a dream board of your goals and aspirations. Post positive sayings and inspirational art around your room and your house. Make a gratitude journal where you write three things daily that you were grateful for that day. Whenever you look in the mirror, compliment yourself. Get out and serve others. Most importantly, set goals and make a plan to accomplish them. Don’t get discouraged when you mess up, but just get right back on track. You don’t have to be perfect to accomplish your goals; you just have to be moving in the right direction. With progression comes true happiness and life satisfaction. You can do it!

I know I'm Suppose To Exercise, but I Just Can't Seem To Stay Motivated: How To Stick To Your Exercise and Finally Achieve Your Weight Loss Goals!

The United States Department of Health and Human Services recommends that adults engage in at least 2.5 hours of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity each week. It is also recommended that adults lift weights or perform other similar muscle strengthening activities at least twice a week. However, it is estimated that only about 45% of American adults achieve these minimal amounts of physical activity each week (Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2005). Most adults understand the health benefits and reasons why exercise is so important. Everyone has at one time or another started an exercise program hoping to reap the bountiful benefits that come from exercise. However, according to Dishman (1988) and colleges, more than 50% of people who start a new exercise program will drop out within the first six months. How can we stay motivated to achieve our fitness goals?

In order to make a successful lifestyle change, negative habits need to be replaced with positive habits. Einstein once said that the definition of insanity was “doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results”. We can’t expect to get a different outcome if we continue to do the same things that haven’t gotten us where we want to be. So the first step in starting and maintaining a successful lifestyle change is to set goals that help us develop positive habits. The key to goal setting is making “SMART” goals meaning Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-oriented goals. For example, the broad goal of “losing weight” could be replaced with the specific goal of losing 2 lbs a week for the next month. The above goal also provides a way to measure progress. Losing 2lbs a week is realistic and attainable. It is relevant to the overall goal of adopting a healthy lifestyle, and it is time-oriented. It is important when setting goals to not set too many goals at one time, and to make both long-term goals, as well as many intermediate short-tem goals.

The next step in starting and maintaining a healthy lifestyle change is to make a plan of action. There is a famous quote that states “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. Plan how you are going to achieve your goal of, for example, losing 2 lbs a week. Start by deciding how many times per week you are going to exercise, how long you are going to exercise, what forms of exercise you are going to do, and how you are going to eat. Make a plan of action, and then get going. Revisit your goals often and revise your plan of action as needed. Variety truly is the spice of life. Revise your workout plans at least every 4-6 weeks and find out what kind of exercises you enjoy. Keep an open mind and be willing to try new forms of exercise.

Lastly, change has to be a personal choice. It can’t be forced on anyone. Try to see the big picture and don’t get caught up in fleeting moments of dejection. Change is difficult and so those hard moments will come, but they will surely pass. Know that what you are doing is hard, but that nothing worth while was ever easy. It will be worth it. It IS worth it. You are worthy of success and deserve to get everything out of this life that you want. Take charge of your life. You are in control of your life and can make any changes that you want to. It all starts with making the decision to change and following through. You are worth it.